Saturday, July 21st, 2012...12:57 pm

A Catechism of Gunolatry

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My friends and colleagues outside the US have been appalled by the recent gun carnage in Colorado and puzzled why there is not a more vocal debate about controlling certain kinds of weapons. What they don’t understand is that the US, while it tries to maintain a separation of church and state, is dominated by the Cult of the Idolatrous Worship of Guns, whose priests are the National Rifle Association.

So here for strangers is a brief Catechism of Gunolatry.

First Commandment: I am the Lord thy Gun; thou shalt have no Other before me.

Second Commandment: Thou shalt not take Gun’s rights to court in vain, for it is settled law.*

*This commandment does not apply to abortion rights, which may be brought to any available court on any imaginable pretext.

Third Commandment: Thou shalt keep holy the Day of Carnage; thou shalt not profane the Day of Carnage by “politicizing” it; thou shalt only utter inoffensive platitudes on the Day of Carnage; and thou shalt only dare to bring the Day of Carnage into political debate until the last victim has been buried, the last victim has been released from hospital, or the criminal has been sentenced, whichever comes last (by which time My People will be distracted the prophecies of the House of Kardashian).

Thus saith the Lord thy Gun. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.


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  • The only debate going on is the, Stand Your Ground law that is creeping into state politics. Those that advocate for this law point out that if someone else had a gun in the theater the carnage might have been less. The same for colleges and other public venues where someone has shot their way to fame.

    It’s never mentioned though, how this has backfired and caused more problems with guns as the case with George Zimmerman who used the law to support his vigilante approach to the Neighborhood Watch program.

    Imagine if in the audience that night people did have guns as well at the theater. Rather than less mayhem there would be even more with others joining in shooting at one another.

    It goes beyond the nostalgic view we have of the wild west. Of good guys in white hats versus the bad guys. Tombstone never had to deal with guns that shot off hundreds of rounds in a minute.

    What sensible solution can be enacted when so much money is made in armory? The manufacturers can easily swamp the media with propaganda and lobby with virtually unlimited funds. After all, we arm the world, everyone wants our weaponry.

  • Yes, Penman; like other religions, Gunolatry trades on nostalgia, anxiety, and slogans. But until a significant percentage of Americans see this idolatrous worship of gun rights for what it is and assure their elected officials that they want reform (and will vote in elections accordingly), little will change.

    BTW, I think hunting with rifles is a fine old tradition, that pistol target practice is a legitimate sport, and that some people (in certain businesses or living in certain neighborhoods) may find a pistol to be a useful form of security.

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